Red

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„Red” oil on canvas 70/90cm 35,5/27,5 inch 2016

This was really, really difficult to write about this painting and put my inspirations into words. Finally, I decided to share my short notes, which I write when painting is in progress. But at first, use your feelings, look at this work without reading my notes. They all, and in the same time, neither of them, describe this painting. Feel free to find your own story in it.
The order of texts is random, and they are under photos of details.

 

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Sometimes it seems that our life is full of everything. It is not about feeling satisfied, but about too much activities, obligations and responsibilities, about feeling that nothing more can fit in. Then love appears. Someone appears. Suddenly it turns out, (somehow, I do not know how) that there is plenty of time. Sometimes it requires growing an additional hand, or adds a couple more hours in each day, but somehow it works. For important people we will always find time.
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I have noticed, that I have phases for specific colors. This phases are ongoing months or sometimes for several years. Blue color phase was very strong for almost all last year. Now it feels like redness starts its time. When blue reigned, I was buying the blue clothes for me and my family, blue things for home and even I observed that I chose food supplies with the blue packaging. I was doing it unconsciously. Now I choose everything in red color, that is how I realised that the new phase is begun.
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The anatomy of emotions / red guts / bloody flesh / red monkey / „my dear love little monkey” / „moja kochana małpeczka”
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małpia zdolność = monkey ability (offensive term used for realistic painting) / stupid monkey / An ape in some cultures is associated positively, even have its holidays, in others it is a symbol of bestiality, stupidity and vanity.
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The apes babies are born completely helpless, they need long care to grow up.
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Red / life / bloody pulp
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Red is the color of authority, it means the blood, fire, war and ‚I rule’. It is also the color of passion, fertility and courage. The good side of red color is associated with love and passion.
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Red / bloody mum / rocky mum
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The color of love and blood.
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Maybe this is something characteristic for me, maybe it is national feature of Poles (this is not about explanations, arguments and logic reasons), but when someone says „do not do this”, somehow, just instinctively, almost unconsciously, the first I think is about doing it. For example: „when you will be on operation table, during your caesarean section, DO NOT look at lamps above you. Everything will reflect in it, and you will see it all…” Guess what… This special kind of redness will stay with me forever.
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Image of a mother in medias, what we can see around, is the stereotype of a nice, warm person, caring lady, transparent women, and it is almost inappropriate to speak with her about anything other than her motherhood.
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red mum
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There are things…. there are views… which once seen, will stay with you forever. And it is the good thing.
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The way of warrior is bloody, the way of a parent is also bloody… It itches, sometimes bakes and hurts a little, but it is like a drug, once you try it, there will be nothing you will desire more.
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Mama – is a very special word, defining a very special person. Everyone has the mom, and everyone has a special bond with her (sometimes healthy and good, sometimes toxic, even lack of mother affect us very strongly). What happens when you become a mum? You are someone for someone, like your mom is for you.
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Three dots to emphasize the importance of this sentence.
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What I would like to share in occasion of publishing this painting? If you want something, just try it, if you do not want something, just do not do that. And when you think you know where are your boundaries (the limits of endurance, the limits of love, the limits of the body, the boundaries of self-confidence, the sense of security boundaries, any boundaries), the true is – you know nothing. So use this knowledge in positive way, and do ‚impossible’ things, because you do not know your limits till you try them.
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I became a mother recently so the painting about it had to appear eventually. Some women clicks ‚delete’ and cancel all their current ‚I am’ when they became mom. I clicked ‚update’.
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‚I did not know that it is possible to love someone so much’ this is an extremely banal text, but in the same time the truest and the wisest in the world.