„Be/Have” 2015

„Blue” oil on icon panel, 50/70cm, 20/27,5 inch, 2015

This is the first of cycle three paintings about „be / have”.

Blue is the last of colors obtained in natural way, and for a long time more expensive than gold. Apparently in the old days price of painting depended on the quantity of the blue pigment. I also remember from history of art lessons, that such artists as Leonardo da Vinci where able to juxtapose colors,in such a way that cheaper replacement, seemed to be the most expensive ultramarine. As you might guess, blue was also the first color obtained synthetically. This color has many meanings in culture, somewhere it is color of the gods, elsewhere – mourning, or purity.

The blue color intrigued me some time ago. I began to think about different facets of that color. We know: „feel blue”, „blue blood”, blue food, out of the blue and lot of more. Reflections on the blue, led me to the fact, that there are almost no blue edible things (naturally blue). This color, in the context of foods, we associate with something inedible, tasteless, unpalatable, rotten. Even tasty apple, but covered with blue, seem to be less tasty.

So we have beautiful, loved, precious the color blue, but not in food. Then I imagined this color, as if it was a child, with „problem”. Child making „the drama” that he/she want to be tasty food. Imagine a scene of tears, screams, rolling on the floor, and lot of „Mom, I want it”. Sometimes, no matter how great drama we do, or how much effort we put into getting something, we just will not have it.

Especially now in the culture where „want” is same as „could” and ” be able to”, we know that to get something, you need to try, to fight for it. We live in the belief that everything is possible, just work enough hard. Do not get me wrong, I do believe in it, and I think that it usually is true, furthermore I think that we should behave like it was a rule. BUT sometime, in spite of everything, we do not get what we want, and we have to know how to survive it too. This painting is about one of the most important things we usually learn as a child, about the fact, that we do not always get what we want. Sometimes everywhone have something what we want, only we don’t, and about that it is not the end of the world.

„Sea color” oil on icon panel, 50/70cm, 20/27,5 inch, 2015

This is second, from tree paintings about „be/have”.I started from the blue and now I’m going in direction of green, but I start tentatively, from special shade which is somwhere between that two: the color of the sea.
I read somewhere, that man can recognize more shades of green, than any other colour. This skill was useful for survival in ancient times and part of this ability is still in us today. Although the green was so important for man, somehow I did not use it much till now. I almost did not paint with this color, maybe only to break other colors. Last time I used it, in it’s pure form, in „Debora” painting, it was during my studies at Academy of Art. Paint such „green” work is something new and exciting for me. This is hard to catch on the photo, and it is obvious in live, but all background is in deep sea color.
I associate this color with the depths, space, with flowing out to the open sea.
I am not sure why but exactly this color seemed to be suitable to say about losing, about the fact that sometimes we have something and then it’s gone. There was no accident, we do not lost it dramatically, it was not even taken away from us. Sometimes, we really don’t want to deal with a problem, sometimes we prefer to leave it alone and do nothing, we want to let it somehow resolve itself, or let someone deal it for us. Part of being an adult, is that even as we know that later we will suffer, some things have to be done. Sometimes we have to reject part of ourselves to go further. Ability to lose part of „Me” is important, and give a unique strength. This is painting about the strenght, arising from the fact that, we know how and we are capable to cope with difficulties.
„That was hard, but everything is all right now. I fell stronger now.” – this girl could say

p.s
I always make lot of plans, and every inch of my work is carefully thought out. I always choose to base on reality, and would rather, leave something unpainted, than draw it relying only on my imagination. Even when I invent something, I’m looking for inspiration in reality. This time I was spontaneous and painted parts of the image, simply by closing my eyes and inventing. Of course, size and location of these parts was carefully planned….


„Fresh green” oil on icon panel 20/27,5 inch, 50/70cm, 2015

This is the third, from three paintings about „be/have”. I started from the blue and developed it to the color of the sea to finish with fresh green.

Previous paintings were about inability to get something, and about losing something. I like happy ending so this last work is very happy. „Fresh green” achieved her goals.

This painting is about finally having something, for which we were fighting so long, that we forgot, we are in a middle something. For example, when we want to lose weight we start running every day, after some time it start to be our usual start of the day. We get used to it, it start to be our habbit. Then, one day, our dream imperceptibly come true. We realize that we have our ideal shape and weight. We have our goal, and it is surprise for us, that we forgot that we wanted it. We forgot to think that it is impossible, we were only doing our small steps to it. The goals of long-distance (or „impossible” goals) sometimes result in such surprises.

So find your „impossible” or long-distance goal and start to do anything in that direction. You never know…